Tag Archives: faith

September 9, 2008 · 2:26 pm

“Faith Toward God”–The Second Apostles’ Doctrine

    We are told to repent from our old life in the first apostles’ doctrine, but how do we do it?  How do we really change our old selfish ways, and let the old self die?  The second apostles’ doctrine teaches us how to do it. 

     How do we get rid of the old sinful life and get into the new life in Christ?  We reckon it done by faith/belief.  How do we start walking in a brand new life?  We reckon it done by faith.  Reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ (Yahshua Messiah). Rom. 6:11. 

     We’ve got to reckon it done!  The word “reckon” is #3049 in Strong’s.  It means “to account it, to count it as such.”

     God wants us to reckon it so, but He does it first! When we turn to Him, then He counts us righteous in His eyes even in our imperfect state.  It is His nature to “call those things that do not exist as though they did.” Rom. 4:17, NKJV. If He is this positive, then He would want His children to be the same.

     He wants us to follow in His footsteps!  God “accounted” righteousness to Abraham because of his belief—before Abraham was righteous!  “Accounted” here is the same word as the one translated “reckon.”  We are commanded to RECKON some things done.  Now we have to reckon our sinful self gone—by belief—as though it were already done—for that is how God looks at it!  By belief!  Reckon it done through Him and His faith.  He said it.  Let it be done.  For what saith the scripture?  Abraham believed God, and it was counted unto him for righteousness.  Rom. 4:3.  Yahweh imputed, reckoned to Abraham the ability to live in a upright manner, keeping Yahweh’s laws and not sinning, by just believing that Yahweh had done it!  We make it so hard through our hard heart of unbelief.  He is looking for childlike faith, the belief of a small child.  All we have to do is just believe that Yahweh has provided a way for us to actually put the old life to death and start living a new life in Him (read more from my book on this subject at   http://www.yahwehisthesavior.com/yahch30.htm ). 

     When Christ died, our old sins died with Him that day.  When He was buried, we were buried.  And when He arose, we arose with Him.  It is already done in God’s eyes.  We just have to receive this new life by faith and belief.  It hinges on our belief in Christ’s resurrection.  By us believing that He was raised from the dead, we are raised with Him to walk in a newness of life. 

      The old ministers of centuries past knew this and  preached and wrote about this–Luther, Wesley, Murray, et al.  But in the last days, there will be a departing from the faith–the faith that reckons it so, believing in the life-changing power of the cross experience.    Kenneth Wayne Hancock

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September 2, 2008 · 10:40 pm

The Apostles’ Doctrine–Curriculum of God’s True Teachers

Teachers of God will expound His way, while false prophets and false teachers lie to the flock of God.  The true teachers are gifts to mankind from God (Ephesians 4: 11).  They are precious and very few in number.  If we seek, we will find one, and we will hold them dear.

But how can we tell the true from the false?  The true teachers will have a grasp of the apostles’ doctrine (Acts 2:42).  They will know how to explain in detail how one repents, how faith works in us receiving a new heart.  In short, they will have true knowledge of the “principles of the doctrine of Christ” (Hebrews 6: 1-2).

Yet they will also know that one must leave those first principles in order to “go on unto perfection.” The Spirit that is within them will “lead us into all truth.”  They will know that it is Christ in them who actually is the real Teacher.

Many in “church circles” talk about wanting the same life as the early church in the book of The Acts of the Apostles.  They see the miracles and wonders performed and long for that same divine power to hold sway on the earth today.  They want, however, to circumvent the procedure used in those enlightened days right after Christ’s resurrection.  They want to accept Christ, be baptized, and then they want to set the world on fire with God’s power.

Before the miracles come from God, pre-requisites must be done. “And they continued stedfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers.  And fear came upon every soul: and many wonders and signs were done by the apostles” (Acts 2:42-43).  Here you see the progression of things: the doctrine, fellowship, breaking bread, prayers, fear of God, and then came the wonders and signs.

“We Don’t Want Doctrine–Just Jesus”

It was the apostles’ doctrine that the early converts stayed in.   They did those teachings.  For “doctrine” is translated from the Greek word didaskalia, which means “teaching; that which is taught.”  Beware of those who will say, “We don’t want doctrine, we just want Jesus!”  If they could only realize that the Savior Himself was referred to as a “Didaskalos,” meaning “Teacher, Master.”  The same root word!  People who say, “We don’t want doctrine” are really saying they do not want the real Christ and what He taught.

The true teachers of God will teach true repentance from sin in one’s life and how faith works to give us a new heart and new spirit that pleases God in not sinning against Him.  And this is just the first principles “of the doctrine of Christ” (Hebrews 6: 1-2).

This is not a new thing that I write about.  Read it for yourself in Martin Luther’s writings, “The Sermon on three-fold Righteousness [http://www.iclnet.org/pub/resources/text/wittenberg/luther/web/3formsrt.html ; in the sermons of John Wesley (  http://wesley.nnu.edu/john_wesley/sermons/040.htm ), founder of the Methodist Church; from Andrew Murray, 19th Century Scottish Missionary and author  http://www.victoryoversin.com/murray/like/lc24.htm ); or in my book The Apostles’ Doctrine [free copies available].

So, turn away from anyone who doesn’t teach the apostles’ doctrine, that says that you cannot be a righteous son or daughter of God.  Don’t believe them.  They will try to drag you down into the same spiritual slop that they are stuck in.  Find yourself a true teacher and study out the apostles’ doctrine, for those are the teachings of Christ.      Kenneth Wayne Hancock

* “Sermon on Three-fold Righteousness” at  http://www.iclnet.org/pub/resources/text/wittenberg/luther/web/3formsrt.html

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July 19, 2008 · 9:19 pm

Parable of the Mustard Seed–How God’s Government Grows

     This parable reveals the secret of how the Kingdom of God grows.  It starts out as a tiny seed of faith in the hearts of His believers and then multiplies and spreads its rule to fill the whole earth.

     Two things to remember about the parables of Yahweh.  First, they reveal hidden secrets to only those who are supposed to “get it.”  Second, they are about the “good news” that God is the King of His kingdom, and it is coming to this earth with a vengeance, literally (See post  “Parables Conceal the Mysteries of God” at https://immortalityroad.wordpress.com/2008/05/04/parables-conceal-the-mysteries-of-god/ ).

     And this parable is how it grows into planetary dominance.  “The kingdom of heaven is like to a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field, which indeed is the least of all seeds, but when it is grown, it is the greatest among herbs, and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in the branches thereof” (Matt. 13:31-32).

     The key to understanding this parable is found in another statement by Christ about a mustard seed.  “If you have faith the size of a grain of mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove” (Matt. 17:20).  Here He links “faith” to a mustard seed.  The literal seed is small, and our faith/belief is small at first, also.

   Here’s the breakdown:

  1. A man took mustard seed and sowed it into his field = Christ placed the word, the seed of faith-in-His-resurrection into our hearts which is in our earth-ly bodies.  “The field” = the world (Mt. 13:38).  So now God’s children have His faith in them and they “are in the world, but not of the world.”
  2. The mustard seed grows = our tiny little belief in Christ grows.  Our testimonies win others and help others know Him.  More people are born of His Spirit and enter His spiritual kingdom.
  3. And the mustard seed grows into a tree = The children of the kingdom of God grow into a strong entity, governed by His Spirit.
  4. And the tree filled the whole earth = Here the kingdom of God, who is a Spirit living in our hearts, will grow and grow until someday soon Christ will literally return and set up the throne of His father David in the earth.
  5. And the birds of the air shall lodge in its branches = These birds are the worldly goat nations who will not have fully accepted Christ as their King.  The prophets speak of a time during the 1000 year reign of Christ when nations who do not give honor unto the King will have their rain withheld until they learn to humble themselves in His presence.

     When Christ returns to His true followers, He will set up rule through them over the whole earth.  All the prophecies point to it.  This kingdom is the gospel proclaimed by Christ and His prophets throughout the ages.  This is the stone kingdom “not cut out with man’s hands” that shall smash all of man’s corrupt governments.

     His kingdom starts with a new spirit and new heart that He gives to those who willingly allow their old self to die with Christ (see http://www.yahwehisthesavior.com/sonsintro.htm “Our Old Nature Must Die on the Cross”). 

“The kingdom of God is within you” because His Spirit now abides in His children and governs them.  When we receive Him in our heart, the Kingdom of God comes to earth!  His Spirit in us is the “seed beginning” of His earth-wide rule and reign.

Yes, it is small now, like a grain of mustard seed.  Christ is that seed growing in us, growing into a mighty kingdom wherein dwells righteousness.   Kenneth Wayne Hancock

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July 9, 2008 · 10:02 pm

“Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread”–The Bread of God

     We are to ask for the heavenly bread–not physical bread.  Christ told us specifically to not ask for food.  “Do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it” (Luke 12:29, NIV). 

     Christ in the Lord’s Prayer tells us rather to ask the Father each day for the spiritual bread from heaven.  But what is it exactly?  Some churches believe that a round wafer is magically and     mystically turned into the body of Christ, the bread from heaven.  This practice is not found in the scriptures of truth.

     Christ gives a treatise on the heavenly bread in John 6.  The “true bread from heaven” was not manna which fell for the Israelites in the wilderness.  They all died.  But, My Father gives you the true bread from heaven (v. 32).  The spiritual “bread of God is He which comes down from heaven, and gives life to the world” (v. 33).

     Physical bread is the staff of a physical life that ends.  But spiritual bread is the staff of the spiritual life that never ends.  This bread feeds the new inner spiritual man; it is our sustenance.

     Then Jesus (Yahshua) declares Himself to be that Heavenly Sustenance.  “I am the bread of life: he that comes to me shall never hunger, and he that believes on me shall never thirst” (v. 34). 

     The key word here is “believes.”  It is believing on Him–that is how we partake of His Spirit.  You take into yourself what you believe.  You become what you believe.  You are what you eat. Believing Him and His word about who He is, and what He has done, and what He will do–this is what it’s all about.  Belief.  Belief is not a material thing.  It is a special invisible, spiritual thing.  To believe Him and what His name means is to eat of the spiritual bread from heaven.   

     He would later say that His body is the “bread of God” and encouraged us to eat it.  “Eat” here is to spiritually believe what transpired with His body–the death, burial, and resurrection.  He was saying that His flesh, His actual physical body was going to be presented as the one sacrifice that would purge our sins.  Believing this in truth is eating (taking in) this spiritual, true bread from heaven.

     “I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live forever; and the bread that I will give is my flesh which I will give for the life of the world” (v. 51).  Here we see him giving His physical body so that we could have immortality.

     He was teaching us to pray–not for ourselves with things for ourselves, food, material things.  No.  We are to ask for more of His Spirit, more faith, more belief of what He has done for us.  We should recall and thank Him for allowing our old nature to die with Him on the cross, to be buried with Him, and to be “raised to walk in a newness of life” with Him (Romans 6:3-7). 

     The words, Give us this day our daily bread, contain a profound lesson in our learning to pray.  Kenneth Wayne Hancock

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April 24, 2008 · 5:52 pm

“Be Perfect”–Christ’s Impossible Command?

     Christ gave us this command: “Be perfect.”  And, of course, the kneejerk response comes, “Wait a minute.  With all due respect, that’s not right.  Nobody’s perfect.  Why would He give us a command that’s impossible to keep?”

     This is where some will toss Christianity into the trashcan, never realizing that “Be perfect” is a paradox, ” a statement seemingly absurd yet really true” (Dictionary.com).

     But some will dig down to a deeper level and find that one man was and is perfect–Christ.  And they’ll see that He was perfect because of the Spirit that filled Him.  And they’ll understand that He has now given His Spirit to the sons and daughters of God, who will realize that they can grow in faith where “it is no longer I that lives, but Christ that lives in me” (Galatians 2:20).

     And armed with this knowledge, they will see that “with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26).  They’ll see that the glass is not half empty nor half full, but brim full and running over with the living waters of His Spirit.

     It will dawn on these princes and princesses of God that “no idle word” proceeds out of the mouth of God.  They’ll take this admonition to heart: “Let us go on unto perfection” (Hebrews 6:1-2).  And they’ll learn that there is so much more to God’s spiritual house than the foundation of “repentance from dead works and faith toward God,” which are the first steps of “newborn babes in Christ.” 

     They’ll realize that they have received in their hearts the seed of perfection.  Christ is that Seed.  And now that Seed is growing, for “one plants and another waters, and God gives the increase.”  This growth is likened to a planted seed of wheat or corn.  It comes up, “first the blade, then the ear, then the full corn in the ear.”  And then harvest will come when He will have been perfectly reproduced in us.  And we then in full maturity will have completed the life cycle of God.  And that is perfection.

  The princes and princesses of God will realize this in the command: “Be perfect.”  For they will see these two words as His challenge to “overcome all things” and walk on down His road to the Heavenly City.  They will answer the challenge and embark on this quest for perfection.  Because He said to.              Kenneth Wayne Hancock

(If this was helpful to you, I’d love to hear from you.  Share this with a friend that might benefit from it)

 

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April 17, 2008 · 3:24 pm

Baptism: Empty Ritual or Symbol of “Death of Self”?

     “Why were you baptized?”  a survey taker asks, cornering us with his microphone and camera.  Most of us would have to say, “Because they told me I should do it.” 

     Question 2: “What does baptism mean exactly?”   Here most of us would scratch our heads and say, “Well, I’m not sure.  The minister and congregation were very supportive, and I feel that it was the right thing to do.”

     But the right thing for us to do is to “dig deep and build our house on the rock,” as Christ admonished us to do.  We dig deep by digging into the letter that He has left us, the scriptures of truth. 

     Baptism is an outward symbolic action of an inward, spiritual, and transformational happening.     The meaning of baptism is laid out in Romans 6:3-11.  “Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into His death” (v. 3).  We are immersed into His death.

     Water baptism is a symbol of us identifying our old self dying with Christ, being buried with Christ, and being raised up with Christ.  It is where we identify our old sinful self with the Lamb of God, our sin sacrifice.  “He was made to be sin for us, who knew no sin, that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him.” 

     When He died, my old self died.  When He was buried, my old evil nature was buried.  When He was raised from the dead, I  was raised from the dead!  Hey, this is not just my testimony; it is all of His children’s testimony. 

     And baptism in water is a symbol showing the world and God how we are regenerated. 

     How is this transformation done?  By faith, which is having assurance of its reality before we actually see it with our own eyes.  We have to reckon it so through God’s power.  “Reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God” (v. 11).  God has already reckoned the death of our old self and our resurrection with Him.  Why shouldn’t we reckon it so?

     Baptism is a symbol of our transformation into being right with Him.  We are now free from sin.  “For he that is dead is freed from sin.  We are now the children of the light, having escaped darkness.

     God’s sons and daughters, His princes and princesses, shall see through the empty rituals of Churchianity.  They will shine forth as lights “in the midst of a wicked and perverse nation.”  Their clarity of vision will help them sift through the barren sands of man’s traditions to ultimately find the “one pearl of great price.”     Kenneth Wayne Hancock

{If this has been helpful, make a comment and/or pass it on to someone you care about.  I would love to hear from you.  You can read more about this in Yah Is Savior: The Road to Immortality, Ch. 28.  Click the Blogroll “Yahweh Is the Savior” link to your right]

 

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March 17, 2008 · 10:59 pm

New Jerusalem: Not of This Earth

     In part one we saw that the offspring of God have their origins from above and not from this world.  They are the sons and daughters of God; they are princes and princesses whose Father is the King.  They are true Christians.

     They will realize that they are put here by a Being that is not of this earth.  They see that reality is not earth-based.  They realize that they cannot see true reality by looking through earthly eyes. 

     They see that it is a heavenly vision, a heavenly faith, a heavenly destiny, a heavenly plan, a heavenly purpose, a heavenly blueprint, a heavenly design, a heavenly way, a heavenly thought of a heavenly Father, who is above all this on earth and is in us whom He has called.

      To think earthly is to be in darkness.  He has called us out of darkness into the heavenly light.  To be earthly minded is sure death in the darkness, for what seems to be our earthly life is really only a walking death.  Remember when Christ told them to “let the dead bury the dead”? 

     To even get out of the old and to get into the new life, we must believe in an invisible,  Supreme Spiritual Being who does the saving, who is not of this earth, who calls us with a heavenly calling, and urges us in mysterious ways to appear to choose His heavenly way against the “better judgement” of our unbelieving earthly sensess.

     An enlightened individual takes in this light–light that nothing earthly is as it seems.  For everything in and of the world is tricky, slippery, treacherous, and deceiving.  Earthly man is crooked, undependable, self-centered, and prideful.

     But there are human beings who are beginning to realize that this walk here is a spiritual thing and not an earthly thing.   They see that their bodies are in the world but their spirit is not of this earth.  For they are “strangers and pilgrims on the earth,”  seeking a “better country, that is, a heavenly” country (Hebrews 11:13-15).

     They realize that they are looking for their home which is a four square city full of light that has 12 foundations where it never gets dark.  That city, the New Jerusalem, is their home, which one day will come down out of heaven and set down right here on earth.  And they believe this having never seen this city with their earthly eyes, a city that is not of this earth.               Kenneth Wayne Hancock                                                                                {If this article has been helpful, please leave a comment and/or send this to someone who may benefit from it}

     

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March 4, 2008 · 12:57 am

God’s Desire: To Reproduce Himself–in Us

     In the last post we saw that the Creator has a will that will prevail.  His will is His desire or His wish for His creation, humankind.  Humans are strongwilled; most desire things for number one.  And their number one usually is not God, although it should be.  If we have any other desire for what is to happen in our bodies, other than what He wants, we struggle against His wishes.  This is where frustration comes from. 

          What is his desire for us His crown of creation?  He has magnificent plans to actually reproduce Himself in us!  Nothing less.  Let me repeat this important point.  According to the prophets and apostles who wrote the scriptures of truth, what God wants is that He magnify Himself in a “body of many sons” and daughters.  All the other religious catch-words that we have heard like “salvation,” “faith,” “hope”–these are facets of the diamond, but reproducing Himself in His people–this is the precious gemstone of truth as to what God is doing.

     It is up to us to get into the flow of the Creator’s desire and wish.  To do this, we must relinquish our meager little desires, putting our old spiritual nature on the cross and die with Christ (Romans 6:6).  We must spiritually sacrifice our selfish desires and take on His desire, which is to use us as His temple, His dwelling place on this earth.  Then we must bury our old self with Christ in the grave, identifying our sinful core with the sin sacrifice that He made for us.  And then, by believing that He was literally raised bodily from the dead after three days and three nights in the tomb, we, too, “can walk in a newness of life.”  He arose; we arose.  This is first step in becoming a new creature in Christ.

     We, then, “as newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word” so that we can grow up into Him until “Christ be formed in you” and I.  Wow!  In His eyes we are already there.  He sees us as His sons and daughters, His princes and princesses, His future kings and queens in His soon-coming kingdom.  That is a big wish, a big desire, a big will, a big heart.

     God’s not messing around.  He is calling out a body of sons and daughters that will lead the way for the rest of humankind.  And “whosoever will may come.” 

     What can we do to be of service to Him and His wishes?  First, we need to surrender to Him and His will, desire, wish.  And in due time He will grow up in us, and He will speak through us as He did in the prophets of old.  His Spirit will flow down and in and through us out to others, and He will multiply Himself by “bringing many sons unto glory.” 

     We just need to get with His program.  If we are on the same page as He, then we can ask what we will, and He will grant it.  Why?  Why wouldn’t He answer the prayer of one of His children who is asking for more of His Spirit so that His wishes can be carried out.

   It’s all in the Lord’s Prayer: “Thy will be done, in earth, as it is in heaven.”  That’s one prayer that will be answered.  It’s going to be done.  We need to search it out and do it.

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February 23, 2008 · 10:26 pm

Studying to Be a Prince and Princess of God

     Prince Charles, the Prince of Wales and heir to the throne of Great Britain, believed that he was in that position and has prepared himself for it.  Most future monarchs do just that.  They take their station in life seriously and prepare themselves to rule.  And so should the sons and daughters of God, His princes and princesses.

     For we are no different than the natural princes and princesses like Charles and Diana.  How do they prepare?  They study.  They avail themselves to learn the royal way.  They study what is expected of them and do it. 

     But Prince Charles did not study and prepare in order to receive the position of prince.  No.  He first believed that he was a prince and then he began to learn what that position entailed.  Now if we want to know what all he has done to prepare himself to be king, we can go to the Wikipedia.  But that is not my point.  The point is belief came first, then he studied so that he could be approved to become king.

     It is the same for us spiritually.  We must transcend mortal earthly doubts and negative thoughts about our future and believe what our Father has given us.  We are a “royal priesthood.”  We are the sons and daughters of God.  We are His princes and princesses.  That is the truth of the matter.  That is how He looks at us.  But before we can reign with Him on His throne (see Revelation 3 to those who overcome Laodecia), we must take his gift of sonship and daughtership seriously and study, seek, and search.

     “Study to show thyself approved unto God…”

     “Seek and ye shall find; knock and the door shall be open; ask and it shall be given…”

     “Search the scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life, but these are they that testify of Me…”

     And this exhortation to study cannot be legislated or demanded.  The urgency to study will come into a person’s heart in God’s own time.  “Every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father of lights…”  Our calling to be his sons and daughters is a good and perfect gift.  But we must “make our calling and election sure.”  We can only do that by studying our Father’s letter to us, the library of holy books, the Bible.       

Kenneth Wayne Hancock

{If this post has been helpful to you, please leave a comment and/or send this to someone you care about}

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February 8, 2008 · 7:11 pm

Butterflies and Funeral Marches {short fiction}

     To just keep on living–that is the hope I hold on to every time we march in one of the company’s funeral processions.  I saw my face reflected in the side window of a sedan while we were marching last week, and it seemed to say, “On this another fateful day, I have hope.”

     The deaths come regularly.  Someone is always dying, and then we march.  I try to find something positive in it, but it is difficult.  Someone’s death does get your attention, I suppose; that’s one thing.  And it teaches you to not take life for granted; that’s something.  But then you start thinking, Who is going to be next?  But I never think it is going to be me because I have hope.

     Yes, you do have the formal funerals where the dead are put into the ground.  That’s bad enough, but it is the walking dead, the marching dead–that’s another matter.  They keep dying so very close to me, and I am thrust up against a wall of doubt, and I am tempted to believe that I am going to die just like they do.  My heart and mind are roughed up by this bully Death.  He storms into my life and steals dear acquaintances, and I, in shock, wander around asking myself, Why?  Why me?  Why now?  That’s when I think about sunshine warming up a moist green hillside–how the air quivers right before your eyes–and then the nausea subsides for the most part. 

     Hope.  I still got it, though.  I have this hope to live.  It is not a hope that is taught.  This hope in me is innate; it is a part of my very spirit inside.  It is as much a part of me as the ability to inhale air.  I want to live; I want to stay in this sometimes cruel and inhospitable environment, no matter what comes.  In fact, I secretly hope to live on–to prolong my time in this fleshy body.  Yes, to somehow cheat or conquer Death, to beat him at his own game–that is what I am after.

     I share all this with my wife.  I believe that she still understands me.  She, of course, doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t have to.  She just smiles at me all the time with those playful upturned lips.  I can count on that smile because it never changes.  It’s always there, believing me and helping me.  Her eyes, too.  They seem to wink knowingly at me as if to say, You are going to live on, my love.  And that reassures me and usually it is enough to get me through the night and on to the next day.

     Like this morning, before leaving for work, I pick her up and gently wipe the dust off and hold her to my chest and clutch her there and bring her up to my lips and softly kiss her mouth.  I never want to leave her.  Sometimes I even want to take her to work with me–just put her inside my jacket and zip her up close to my heart.  But I don’t because she would probably just get in  the way and be broken.  So I just set her back down by the candles.  She doesn’t mind being left alone at home.  She understands me.

     But my coworkers do not understand me.  They do not share my desires.  They are a strange lot to me, for they all in one accord tell me that I am much too optimistic.

     For instance, we are on lunch break last week, and as I am opening my turkey sandwich with mayo and leaf lettuce, Henry says to me, “What are you so happy about?”

     “Happy?  Why do you say that?”

     “You’re smiling like you know something we don’t.”

     “I am feeling pretty good today, now that you mention it.”

     “How could you feel good in this dump–this, this plastic sewer of a job site?”

     “At least we are working.  Some don’t have that privilege.”

     “Privilege?  You call this mind-numbing noise a privilege to work in?”

     “Henry, I have a life.  We would be destitute if I were not working.  Why do you work?”

     “Why do I work?  I’ll tell you why.  A man has to do something while he is waiting for his turn.  You know the old saying: Boredom and aggravation are Death’s herald.”        

     “So you are just biding your time until your time to go?”

     “Yes.  Isn’t everyone?”  Henry sits and stares at me vacantly.  He is not eating again.  I don’t know why he doesn’t eat.  Very rarely does he lunch with me.   He is so much like the others.  They are all thin and hollow-jowled.

     “No, not everyone.  I’m not,” I say to the black moons under his eyebrows.  I have learned that you’ve just got to look them in the eye and speak your mind.  They are not to be feared–only understood.  “I am not changing the subject, Henry, but are you eating at home?  You really need to eat something.”

     “I’m starving myself again.  I want it to come soon.  It is a miserable and lonely existence.”

     “You are selling yourself short.  Did you ever really live, Henry?  I mean, really breathe in the warm air of love and then clutch the hand of the golden-haired girl beside you and run through a green meadow in spring and chase yellow butterflies and fall down laughing at the baby blue sky smiling down on you, and then turn and  press your lips upon her moist hungry mouth and then melt and swirl as one back into eternity?”  I look in his eyes and night has fallen in them.  Empty streets wind their way down to the center of his darkness.

     “No, but then, no one has experienced that!  That is just some dream of yours, some wild idea of what life could be.  There is no such life.  There is only death.”

     “No, you are wrong, Henry.  And so are all of your buddies.  You just haven’t seen what I have seen that’s all.”

     “You haven’t seen that because it is no where to be seen!”  He is shouting now and getting up out of his chair.  “You are a liar!  There are no butterflies and grass and, and love, and pretty girls!  It’s all lies!”

     “No, Henry, you have believed the lie.  Life is good; life is sweet.  Life is to be lived and not squandered in nothingness.  You cannot negate truth with a lie.  Life is good.  That’s the truth.  Your misery is really the lie, for it does not exist in real life.”

     “No, the truth is that we are all miserable.  We are waiting to die.  Death is the only thing that we can count on.  And so I have nothing to smile about now.  There is no joy here.”  He pokes himself in the breastbone, and it yields a thumping sound. 

     “You are miserable because you believe that a pleasant life is impossible.  You have accepted death as the ultimate reality, when, in fact, it is an aberration, an interruption, a temporary detour.  You do not accept life today because you long for death.”

     Henry’s face is snarling now.  He lunges at me and grabs my neck and wraps his bony fingers around it.  He is an animal, fighting for…what?  He is shaking  my head in all directions now, and I see the faces of the others who begin to smile.  And I look at Henry’s face, and he is smiling now, too.  He is grinning and leering at me as the others begin to yell, “Get him, Henry!  Give it to him good!”

     And I can see my face flashing in his eyes.  I am a little blimp of light passing over the dark globes set in his sockets.  I can still hear the shouting, and then I see the Superintendent.  He comes in the door and shouts, “What’s going on in here?”

     At that, Henry loosens his grip on my neck.  He wheels around and stands at attention, and I hear Henry say to him, “I was trying to kill him, sir.”

     “So that’s what it was?  I thought so.  You were choking him all right.”  Henry backs up now and joins his coworkers on the far wall of the room.  The Superintendent walks over to me, looks at my neck, and asks, “Are you all right?”

     “Yes, I’m okay.”

     “I want you to report to my office immediately to fill out the necessary paper work.”

     “What kind of paper work, sir?” I ask.

     “It is strictly a formality.  He was trying to kill you, and that is obviously a capital offense.”

     “I don’t understand what you want me to do.”

     “Attempted murder is worthy of death, but the law states that you will have to put it into writing before the charges will stick.  After that, of course, Henry will get his funeral.”

     “No, sir, you have got it all wrong.  It’s not Henry’s fault.  It’s really all my fault.”

     “What do you mean?  I saw him myself with his fingers around your throat, and you’ve still got red marks on your neck.”

     “I know, but don’t blame him.  I was telling him about blue skies, butterflies, and girls, and it made him a little crazy.  He’s okay now.  I am willing to forget all about it.”

     “Suit yourself,” the Superintendent says, and then turns and yells, “Okay.  Let’s get back to work!”

     I look at Henry and the rest of the guys, and they are laughing and shaking his hand and patting him on the back.  He looks at me and says, “Are you ready to go and fill out the paperwork?”

     “There will be no paperwork today, Henry.”

     “What do you mean–no paperwork?  I need to have the papers in order, so that…”

     “I am not filling out the papers, Henry.  I am not pressing charges.”  I reach over and pat his right shoulder.  “It’s okay.  I forgive you.”

     He looks at me and moans, “Why?  What have you done to me?”

     I just smile.  I want to tell Henry that life is too precious, but there will be plenty of time for that later.

     I rub my neck.  That was close.  Death reached for me and almost got me.  And yet, I knew I would get through it.  I have this hope that I will live for a very long time–maybe even forever.      

Kenneth Wayne Hancock

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