(Formerly in Israel, if a man went to inquire of God, he would say, “Come, let us go to the Seer,” because the prophet of today used to be called a Seer. I Samuel 9:9)
My wife Linda and I were twenty-six. Two years prior, we had sold all that we had and had donated it to a little ministry in the piney woods of East Texas. We now were in northern Mexico being visited by the Seer, the one that sent us here.
My wife and I were having problems I was learning that we men do not naturally have it in us to love our wives properly. We are to love them the same way that Christ loves us, His church. But it takes a supernatural, spiritual connection to Christ, that will enable us to love our wives like that. “Without Him we can do nothing.”
This was the theme of a conversation I had with the Seer. His wisdom and knowledge really helped me. It hurt at first, but joy came with the morning light:
“I get this feeling that she just really doesn’t love me,” I said, head hanging down slightly.
“What makes you say that?” the Seer asked, looking right through me.
“She is like a bobcat, beautiful at first glance but then, when things don’t go her way, she erupts.”
“Is she faithful to you?” the Seer asked.
“Yes.”
“Does she do things for you like clean the house, take care of the children, wash your clothes?”
“Yes, she does, but I am not sure that she is doing it for me.”
“Have you considered that she is doing all those chores without modern appliances? And she keeps house despite the dust and dirt of our current missionary efforts here in the Sierra Madre mountains?”
“She does all that. She’s very industrious. She is working all the time” I said. Wait a minute. I was building a pretty good case for her through this line of questioning.
The Seer said, “You should be grateful. Many men have lazy wives and would love to have a wife like that. The opposite is true: Many women have lazy husbands and would love to have a husband that works hard. What do you expect from her?”
“As busy as she is, I still feel like I’m #5 on her list.”
“And you want to be number one?
“I want her to look up to me and respect me, especially now that I’ve found the truth and am endeavoring to walk in it.”
“So, she does not sit at your feet gazing longingly into your eyes?”
His tone was not sarcastic; it was piercing. “I am not exactly expecting that. But she is so independent. She doesn’t seek my advice or counsel. She has her own agenda and platform of action,” I said.
The Seer looked at me and smiled. “Don’t you see that she is a direct reflection of how you have been toward Christ? She is inadvertently doing to you the same thing that you are doing toward God.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Listen. You have acted independently, doing things with no regard as to what God’s thoughts would be concerning a matter. Even in your first endeavors to serve God, you strike out on what you think would please Him, but you speak and do whatever pops into your mind.”
“I know. But I’m trying,” I said.
“Did you ever think that your wife just may be trying, too? In her own way. Maybe doing the household chores is the only way she knows how to show her love. Let me ask you a question. How has God treated you lately even though you have not been dependent upon his true direction for your life?
The cold heat of pride began to exude through every pore of my torso. I know my face was red, and my cheeks were beginning to twitch in the steam. “Well, He has been patient with me.” The temperature began to lower a bit.
“Yes, patience is part of His divine nature. And we are to add patience to our faith. Patience is endurance. When we endure the spiritual growing pains in each other, then His Spirit is manifesting Himself in us. Now you are to add patience, and God is using her to show you that you need to add it. For with great mercy and patience he has loved, and, yes, endured your meanderings. And now He is requiring you to show forth the same degree of patience with her as He has had with you. ”
“That is great, but I can’t do it. I have tried.”
“Of course, you can’t do it. That is the whole point. It will have to be “Christ in you” doing it. That is the great lesson that wives teach husbands, and very few husbands are spiritually attuned to be able to receive it. Husbands get frustrated and throw up their hands, and say, I just can’t live with this woman.”
“I have felt that way, I have to confess,” I said smiling.
The Seer paused. “The revelation is this: you don’t have it in your old nature to love her as you should. It is only the Spirit of God in you that will bring forth the patience and the love to really meet her need. For a wife’s heart is crying out to be loved the way Christ loved all of us. They can tell. That is true love, the melting kind of love that softens the heart.”
“She would love to hear this.”
“She would rather hear your words, born of patience and mercy. And it will come to pass. But it won’t be overnight. Not until “Christ be formed in you.” Not till your thoughts to God and to her are pure. When she feels the purity of your intent, then she will look inside her own heart and see a bit of the vacuum created by not trusting you now in your regenerated state. She will then come to you and long to be close to you, and she will realize that you are her life. All those other things that she had put before you–they will fall away in importance and will be seen a bit trivial when compared to the great love you share.”
Another seeker came to ask questions of the Seer. So, I got up and thanked him and left, thanking God for a revelation that would not really come for another twenty years. Kenneth Wayne Hancock